That Time You Tried To Be Okay and Learned To Be Honest First

A few weeks ago I wrote about 5 "simple" way to enjoy the holidays, whether your kids were with you or not. I think it was a good post and had some helpful tips and ideas. And I do believe we need to grow as parents. We will reap the greatest benefits with our adult children by accepting the fact that circumstances often change in life.

But...

I skipped a step in my own heart and it wouldn't be fair not to admit that to you.

I want to be that proverbial big girl and pull up my pants and be happy over these holidays.

I want to be mature and accept the changes that are happening in my family.

I want to be a mom and a mother-in-law that makes things easy and doesn't make anyone feel "guilty" in any way.

I want to simply enjoy this special holiday with my husband of 28 years. I love his company. We have fun together. I'm looking forward to a quiet holiday.

Really, I am...

But...

I'm also sad and I've been trying to brush that sadness away like a pesky fly that won't leave me alone.

It's irritating.

I've learned alot and made firm decisions about who I want to be.

My feelings are slow to catch up this week.

Maybe you can relate.

Hiking together at Thanksgiving this year!

It's hard for me to admit, though, because I sure don't want my kids to feel bad about their plans. They shouldn't. And honestly, I wouldn't want them with me and not with their spouses' families right now.

That's the truth.

I WANT them to be close to all of us and so it's important that we share time with them. We all need love and support and encouragement from both sides of our family when we marry.

But I'm still sad and that still irritates me.

It feels better to admit to the sadness, though, and not feel like I have to be Wonder Mama.

And, maybe if I'm honest without being controlling or demanding I will pave the way for all of us to be honest about how unsettling the changes we are going through can be.

I don't know where you are at emotionally today. If you pray for me, though, I'll pray for you.

And then maybe, by the grace of our wonderful God, we can all be honest and still enjoy the holidays - no matter how much things have changed in our families this year.

Merry Christmas!